table of contents

a heart
a smiley face
a paw print
a fixation with triangle numbers
a willingness to indulge in raw expressions of structure
a wording that feels human
two disconnected consecutive events interpreted as one
a stage
a parking lot
a sudden realization of one's surroundings, looking at passing cars one thousand miles away from home
being lost
being found
a world inside a room
staying up until sunrise
a cry for life
procedure as a means to discovery
an endless field of ways in which to pass through the same point
four walks
a street intersection as seen from all of its corners
a warm streetlight
coming back during the daytime
a growing familiarity
strict adherence to structure
a sudden break from structure, when it is time
laughter in its purest form
attempting to run
having nothing
being nothing
being nowhere
a brief pause in thought
a missing layer of abstraction once covering the world
a faded billboard as a beautiful thing
a departure from law
a meditation
a fierce battle between life and death
flattening a space into a collage of two-dimensional shapes and textures
falling into it
seeing an animal
hearing birdsong
unidentifiable sounds as named spirits
a red light
the idea of being destroyed
running towards a passing train
being crushed by a wave
a room with no exterior
a refuge
a claustrophobic camera shot
black & white
a featureless field beyond in every direction
existence outside of time
existence inside of one's own head
a summoning
a glimpse into love undistorted by perception
hard drugs
being one person
falling asleep
a new center
a lost center
disentanglement of self
being looked at for a long time
being chased after
being taken somewhere nice
jumping up and down
riding the bus forever
a woman with nothing but a large white sheet covering her body asking you for a cigarette
going on an adventure with a stranger
recognition of a life in a lack of safety
a loss or gain of naïveté
a guy on the side of the road
a life constructed entirely of relationships deemed to be "real" or "grounded"
knowing how to mend
knowing how to cook
knowing how to steal
a library
an American gas station
a hotel front desk
locking eyes
small talk
being stuck
falling in love a little
being asked to leave
missing your bus
dropping your water bottle into the off-ramp of an interstate
raynaud syndrome
a walk home alone
the late hours of a closing shift
the early hours of an opening shift
going insane
a ruined pair of shoes
a nostalgia for misery
the abstract way the air feels in a memory
the air feeling the same way when you finally return
a peace between midnight and 6 a.m.
an alley
a bike ride through an unfamiliar neighborhood
a map seen thrice differently
a dog
a backpack
two backpacks
a car stopping three feet in front of you
a near-continuous iteration through a space
an avoidance
public intoxication
cyclical maintenance
an attention
a responsive approach to needs
hand-washing clothes
any bed
an unresolved struggle between material safety & manic independence
a cell tower
a silence
a bridge